The Naraku and Sesshoumaru Show

[anna]

note: this is a random fanfic done out of boredom and doesn't have anything to do with pairings
but i might sneek some pairing scenes in
oh and the characters will act out of character

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Anna: hello everyone!and welcome to The

Kagome,Miroku,Rin,Shippou,Kohaku: Naraku ^_^

Kikyou,Sango,Kanna,Jaken: And -_-

Inuyasha,Kouga,Kagura,Ayame: *have no idea how they've gotten into this* Sesshoumaru -_-#

all: Show

Anna: the stars of this show, Naraku and Sesshoumaru, are here to give lessons on being evil and....tips on cooking?

*Naraku and Sesshoumaru walk on stage and the audience claps*

Inuyasha: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHO KNEW THE LORD OF THE WESTERN LANDS SPENT TIME MAKING COOKIES!

Sesshpumaru: *glares*

Anna: to start off the show.....our first lesson will be on secret hideouts.....Naraku?

Naraku: Thank you Anna...
As Anna has stated, our lesson shall begin with secret hideouts
Every good villian needs one to plot their evil schemes

Sesshoumaru: *interupts Naraku* i don't have a secret hideout and i'm a better villian than you'll ever be!

Naraku: probably because you're broke and can't afford one

audience: ooooooOoooooOoooooooooOooooooo

Inuyasha: *snikker*

Sesshoumaru: i am NOT broke!i am the Lord of the-

Anna: yeah,yeah we know
Now shall we explore Naraku's hideout?

*at Naraku's hideout*

Sesshoumaru: its so warm and damp here...HAVE YOU PISSED ON THE FLOOR?

Naraku: Quit complaining!at least i can afford a hideout!

Sesshoumaru: I TOLD YOU-

Anna: Both of you shut up!
*opens Naraku's closet and sees nothing but baboon suits*look at all the disguises everyone!
its a great way to cover your identity but i think the disguises should be different*closes the closet*

Sesshoumaru: *sticks tongue at Naraku*

Naraku: BAH!

Sesshoumaru: *searches in another closet*PORN!?

Naraku: it gets boring around here sometimes.....

Sesshoumaru and Anna: *snikkers*

Anna: umm....okay...i think we've seen enough for today
our next lesson will be on insulting our opponents and/or enemies
Bye!

to be continued.....

[victoria45]

funny

[anna]

Anna: Hello again everyone!we're going to continue our show with a change in lesson plan

Naraku and Sesshoumaru: *are looking at the porn that was in Naraku's closet!

Anna: *sweatdrop* umm....yeah....anyway-

Sesshoumaru: *interrupts* how could i have forgotten about this lesson!this one is my favorite!
*puts away the porn and stands up*
the lesson today will be on 'not making yourself too popular of a villian'
we all know Naraku is good for this.He has everyone in the Inuyasha series pissed off at him
but thats a no-no!

Anna: umm...Sesshoumaru-

Sesshoumaru: Quite!I'm teaching!
as i was saying, do not make yourself too well known
the more people you piss off,the better chance you have of being defeated
what you wanna do is,go from one enemy to another
for example,you make an enemy for whatever the reason,destroy him,and make a new enemy,
destroy him,and make a new enemy-

Anna: in other words, destroy your first enemy before making a new one
otherwise....they'll gang up on you like cowards instead of fighting you by themselves......

Sesshoumaru: if not that....you'll have so many enemies and you won't have enough time to defeat them all
take Samara as a prime example
*flicks on the television*

*at Samara's creepy island*

Samara: *stares at the list of people who watched the tape on her computer screen*
Damn!why do these many people have to watch the tape!?
how the hell am i supposed to kill this many people at one time!?
doesn't anyone have enough common sense to NOT watch the tape!?
Curse this world and what its coming to! >.<

*Seshoumaru turns off the T.V. *

Anna: O.o Sesshoumaru....you are getting way to much into this lesson

Naraku: O.o

Sesshoumaru: *ignores them* poor soul.....
Okay everyone!I think thats all for today!

Anna: see ya next time!

to be continued......

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heheheheheheh i think i'm doing this for my own entertainment ^_^

[victoria45]

its funny with ur new addition

[Chibi-Kouga]

Monkey Porn? No thanks! Mikey J, err.......... Naraku-kun

[anna]

Anna: Welcome back everyone!its your annoying announcer Anna!

cast: you can say that again

Anna: ^_^ Today the Inuyasha cast will have a cooking contest

Sesshoumaru: what if i don't agree to this?what will you do then?

Anna: don't you mean what will YOU do?there is nothing you can do about it
remember?i took away everyone's powers for now

cast: *grumble*

Ayame: i don't know how to cook

Anna: don't worry.for this contest,everyone will have a partner to cook with
the partners will be:

1. Sesshoumaru and Kouga
2. Inuyasha and Naraku
3. Kikyou and Kagome
4. Sango and Miroku
5. Ayame and Kagura

Sesshoumaru: no matter who....i would be paired with an idiot

Anna: each team will choose something to make....and make it
i won't be sticking around for this*snaps her fingers and everyone is in a kitchen*
in a while...i will return to judge all of your gunk....i mean food ^_^ *disappears*

find out next time what will happen in the kitchen of madness........

[anna]

Anna: welcome back!lets start right were we left off!

~in the kitchen~

*everyone is staring blankly around the kitchen*

Ayame: what now?

Kagome: well...lets see what we have to make....*opens the refridgerator*

*everyone stares at the items in the fridge while Kagome names them*

raw meat,mustard,mayonaise,cheese,cherry yogurt,milk,eggs,cabbagge,
potatoes,lettuce,tomatoes,pickles,butter,chocolate sauce,and a pack of ice in the freezer

Inuyasha: *is eating the raw meat*

Kagome: INUYASHA!save that for cooking

Sango: what should we make,Miroku?

Miroku: children?

Sango: *smack*

Kagome: what should we make,Kikyou?

Kikyou: i don't know

Kagome: perhaps a milkshake?

Kikyou: umm.....*has no idea what a milkshake is*

Kagome: okay!then milkshake it is!^_^ *starts putting milk,chocolate sauce,and other random things in the blender

Inuyasha: *put a greasy pan on the hot stove* that wolf breath won't know how to react when
i beat him once again*snikker*

Naraku: *is opening and closing the oven door repeadtly*

Inuyasha: NARAKU!WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING!

Naraku: But i'm not!and that makes me even more eviler KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKU!

Inuyasha: *pushes Naraku's head in the oven and slams the door on his head repeadtly*

Naraku: *slam* OW! *slam* OW! *slam* OW! *slam* OW! *slam* *falls unconscious*

Inuyasha: *continues making his hamburger patties*

Sesshoumaru: *screeches* YOU BETTER KNOW HOW TO COOK!BECAUSE I DON'T!

Kouga: fear not!thats where cheating comes in!

Sesshoumaru: So how do you suppose we cheat!?

Kouga: easy!i brought a cookbook that i stole out of Kagome's bag!

Sesshoumaru: what are we making?

Kouga: strawberry shortcake

Sesshoumaru: whats that?

Kouga: a cake with strawberries....duh!

Sesshoumaru: sounds easy!i can do this without a cookbook
*mixes cake batter,water,bathtub scum,eggs with eggshells,and strawberries together*

Kouga: okaaaaaay o.o........looks good enough

Miroku and Sango: *are mixing all kinds cake frostenings together*

Sango: what should we call this?

Miroku: how about 'The recipe of Sango and Miroku when they are in a cooking contest and don't know else to make'

Sango: sounds simple enough
*mixes cotton candy and cool wipe in it*

Ayame: i don't know how to cook....

Kagura: me neither
*puts pop tarts in the oven and turns the oven as high as it could go* we're done!

meanwhile....

*the cap to the blender flies off and hits Naraku in the head who was about to get up*

Naraku: *gets hit in the head and falls back down* OOOOOF!

Inuyasha: AT LAST,MY FOOD IS DONE!*takes the patties out of the pan with his hands*
*the patties are dripping with grease*

Sesshoumaru: *is frostening his over done cake with rum sauce* this is fun =^_^=

Kouga: O.o *is twitching*

Kikyou: *sniff* whats that burning smell?

Kagura: OH NO!MY POP TARTS! *takes her burnt pop tarts out of the oven*

Kagome: There!our milkshake is ready!*puts it in a cup*

Anna: *appears out of nowhere* is everyone ready for their food judgement?

to be continued......

this is getting more stupid every update lol

[Meiling]

lol! funny! update soon!

[anna]

Kagome: we sure are!

Anna: who wants to go first?

Inuyasha: ME! *_*

Anna: okay than Inuyasha and Naraku are first,then Sango and Miroku,then Kikyou and Kagome,
then Sesshoumaru and Kouga, last is Amaya and Kagura

Inuyasha and Naraku's Hamburger Patties
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everyone except Naraku and Inuyasha: *has taken a bite*

Anna: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too greasy *spits it out*

Kagome: ewww*coughs it up*

Kouga: WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO,MUTT FACE?POISON KAGOME?

Sesshoumaru: i sure hope you're ready to lose,brother

Naraku: don't look at me!i didn't do anything

Anna: next is Miroku and Sango

Miroku and Sango's 'The Recipe of Miroku and Sango when they're in a cooking contest and don't know what to make'
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Everyone except Miroku and Sango: *takes a bite*

Anna: this is really good!

Kagome: i like it

Sesshoumaru: i must admit....its good but it won't beat my strawberry longcake

Kouga: shortcake

Sesshoumaru: *sweatdrop* i knew that.....i was just testing to see if you knew

Kouga: riiiiiight

Anna: next is Kikyou and Kagome

Kikyou and Kagome's milkshake
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Everyone except Kikyou and Kagome: *takes a sip and spits it out*

Anna: O.o

Kagome: so.....is it good?

Anna: let me put it this way.....your milkshake won't bring the boys to the yard

Kikyou: its better than yours!

Anna: next it is Sesshoumaru and Kouga

Sesshoumaru and Kouga's strawberry shortcake
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everyone except Sesshoumaru and Kouga: *takes a bite*
*runs to the sinks and spits it out*

Anna: RUM SAUCE? are you serious,Sesshoumaru?

Sesshoumaru: how do you know it wasn't Kouga?

Anna: because you're the idiot who didn't use the cookbook
but anyways that would be cheating

Kouga: it wasn't me who made this junk

Anna: last is Amaya and Kagura

Amaya and Kagura's pop tarts
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Anna: *stares at the burnt,black pop tarts on the table* is THAT it?

Kagura: just try it....you might like it

Amaya: whew!good thing i don't have to try it!

everyone except Amaya and Kagura: *tries it*

Anna: at least its better than Sesshoumaru's rum sauce cake......BUT ITS DISGUSTING!
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here are the scores 0 is the lowest and 10 is the highest

teamwork scores:

Inuyasha & Naraku: 0

Sesshoumaru & Kouga: 7

Kikyou & Kagome: 5

Amaya & Kagura: 5

Miroku & Sango: 10

Cooking Skill Scores:

Inuyasha & Naraku: 5

Sessoumaru & Kouga: 0

Kikyou & Kagome: 2

Miroku & Sango: 9

Amaya and Kagura: 1

[Sadi]

"Anna: let me put it this way.....your milkshake won't bring the boys to the yard

Kikyou: its better than yours!"

LOL!!!

[anna]

heheheheheh i just had to put that there ;D lol

i'm glad to know people actually find this amusing

[victoria45]

i do! u better keep writing r im ganna sick samara on u!!

[anna]

eep!okay!

[ChibiKikyou]

I like it Anna Banana! Write more!